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bubbles83Sometimes, when I'm bored, I like to play with the madlib drabble thingy. You can get the best drabbles out of it. A few of these are brilliant.
The Miracle Of The Whale
John hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a puppy that slobbers all over your face. He loathed it.
Every December, John would feel himself getting all smelly inside. He refused to put up a Christmas ZPM, he snapped at anyone iridescent enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, John had to go to the mall to buy a loud life-signs detector. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing huskily around and so much Christmas music blaring slowly, he thought his mouth would explode.
Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a broad man collecting for charity. John never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the broad man dropped his bells and ran under the table. There was a glowing whale right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the broad man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
John rushed out and quickly pushed them both out of the way. There was a attractive bang and then everything went dark.
When John woke up, he was in a hairy room. There was a Christmas ZPM in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, John's penis hurt. A lot.
The broad man came into the room. "I'm so bendy!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Rodney. You saved me from the truck. But your penis is broken."
John hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas ZPM up and his penis was broken, he felt quite brash, especially when he looked at Rodney.
"Your penis must hurt merrily," Rodney said. "I think this will help." And he flew John several times.
Now John felt very brash indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Rodney. "I love you," he said, and kissed Rodney languidly.
"I love you too," said Rodney. Just then, the whale ran into the room and nuzzled John's arm. "I brought him home with us," Rodney said.
"We'll call him Miracle," John said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
A Hairy Day To Kiss
John stepped languidly out into the broad sunshine, and admired Rodney's tounge. "Ah," he sighed, "That's an attractive sight."
Rodney climbed off the puddlejumper and walked quickly across the grass to greet his lover. John patted Rodney on the penis and then tried to kiss him slowly, but without success.
"That's all right," Rodney said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not loud," John. "Not as loud as the time we kissed under the covers."
Rodney nodded loudly. "We were brilliant back in those days."
"Our mouths were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," John said. "Everything seems super and bright when you're young."
"Of course," Rodney said. "But now we're arrogant, we can still have fun. If we go about it brilliantly."
"Brilliantly?" John said . "But how?"
"With this," Rodney said and held out an attractive stargate. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to kiss."
John swallowed the stargate at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to kiss brilliantly. They kissed like a puppy who slobbers all over your face. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
Hairy Lang Syne
John sipped languidly at his drink and stood hairy behind a puddlejumper. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel attractive and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how attractive his tounge got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, John knew very well why he was at the party: to see Rodney.
Ah, Rodney. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his super penis made John's heart beat like a puppy who slobbers all over your face.
But tonight everyone was masked. John peered brilliantly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Rodney. There, he thought, the man over by the ZPM, the brilliant one with the whale mask. It had to be Rodney. No one else could look so loud, even in a whale mask.
He began to walk John's way and John started to panic. What if he actually talked to John?
Rodney came right up to John and John thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Rodney said quickly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the stargate," John said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so bright.
Just then, a broad voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
John's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Rodney might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Rodney swept John into his arms, bent him under the covers, and kissed John slowly, slipping him the tongue and groping his mouth.
John could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out loudly and pulled Rodney's mask off his face. It was Rodney! "I knew it was you," John said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Rodney said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
John watched him go. He would be right back, John was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.
And then they would fall in love.
The Whale Prince
John was walking through a super meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a hairy little whale lying under a tree.
John skipped over to see the dear thing and was brilliant to find that he was hurt! A ZPM had pierced his bright little tounge and he whimpered slowly with the pain.
"My arrogant little friend," John said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the ZPM, as quickly as he could. The whale cried out and John's heart ached, like a puppy who slobbers all over your face. "You'll be all right," John whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Rodney and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Rodney up in his arms, John carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, John nursed Rodney, cleaning his tounge and feeding him Puddlejumper-brand whale chow.
On the eighth night, Rodney climbed into bed with John. He burrowed under the covers and loudly kissed John's mouth. It made John giggle and he cuddled close to Rodney, stroking his penis and singing languidly to him.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, John hurried home so he could curl up with Rodney. It gave him a broad feeling whenever Rodney kissed his mouth.
Then one night, Rodney looked up at John and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a loud prince."
John screamed brilliantly, he was so surprised. How could a whale talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Rodney said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," John said and kissed Rodney on his penis. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a loud prince! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Prince Rodney," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" John said.
"See?" Rodney said and showed John the scar from the ZPM on his tounge. Then he kissed John and they tumbled under the covers and did a lot of very attractive things, some of them involving an attractive stargate.
"I love you," Rodney said when they were done. John clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Rodney had stashed away.
And if Rodney didn't know about John's visits to the whale sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.
The Miracle Of The Whale
John hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a puppy that slobbers all over your face. He loathed it.
Every December, John would feel himself getting all smelly inside. He refused to put up a Christmas ZPM, he snapped at anyone iridescent enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, John had to go to the mall to buy a loud life-signs detector. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing huskily around and so much Christmas music blaring slowly, he thought his mouth would explode.
Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a broad man collecting for charity. John never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the broad man dropped his bells and ran under the table. There was a glowing whale right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the broad man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
John rushed out and quickly pushed them both out of the way. There was a attractive bang and then everything went dark.
When John woke up, he was in a hairy room. There was a Christmas ZPM in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, John's penis hurt. A lot.
The broad man came into the room. "I'm so bendy!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Rodney. You saved me from the truck. But your penis is broken."
John hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas ZPM up and his penis was broken, he felt quite brash, especially when he looked at Rodney.
"Your penis must hurt merrily," Rodney said. "I think this will help." And he flew John several times.
Now John felt very brash indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Rodney. "I love you," he said, and kissed Rodney languidly.
"I love you too," said Rodney. Just then, the whale ran into the room and nuzzled John's arm. "I brought him home with us," Rodney said.
"We'll call him Miracle," John said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
A Hairy Day To Kiss
John stepped languidly out into the broad sunshine, and admired Rodney's tounge. "Ah," he sighed, "That's an attractive sight."
Rodney climbed off the puddlejumper and walked quickly across the grass to greet his lover. John patted Rodney on the penis and then tried to kiss him slowly, but without success.
"That's all right," Rodney said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not loud," John. "Not as loud as the time we kissed under the covers."
Rodney nodded loudly. "We were brilliant back in those days."
"Our mouths were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," John said. "Everything seems super and bright when you're young."
"Of course," Rodney said. "But now we're arrogant, we can still have fun. If we go about it brilliantly."
"Brilliantly?" John said . "But how?"
"With this," Rodney said and held out an attractive stargate. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to kiss."
John swallowed the stargate at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to kiss brilliantly. They kissed like a puppy who slobbers all over your face. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
Hairy Lang Syne
John sipped languidly at his drink and stood hairy behind a puddlejumper. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel attractive and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how attractive his tounge got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, John knew very well why he was at the party: to see Rodney.
Ah, Rodney. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his super penis made John's heart beat like a puppy who slobbers all over your face.
But tonight everyone was masked. John peered brilliantly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Rodney. There, he thought, the man over by the ZPM, the brilliant one with the whale mask. It had to be Rodney. No one else could look so loud, even in a whale mask.
He began to walk John's way and John started to panic. What if he actually talked to John?
Rodney came right up to John and John thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Rodney said quickly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the stargate," John said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so bright.
Just then, a broad voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
John's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Rodney might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Rodney swept John into his arms, bent him under the covers, and kissed John slowly, slipping him the tongue and groping his mouth.
John could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out loudly and pulled Rodney's mask off his face. It was Rodney! "I knew it was you," John said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Rodney said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
John watched him go. He would be right back, John was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.
And then they would fall in love.
The Whale Prince
John was walking through a super meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a hairy little whale lying under a tree.
John skipped over to see the dear thing and was brilliant to find that he was hurt! A ZPM had pierced his bright little tounge and he whimpered slowly with the pain.
"My arrogant little friend," John said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the ZPM, as quickly as he could. The whale cried out and John's heart ached, like a puppy who slobbers all over your face. "You'll be all right," John whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Rodney and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Rodney up in his arms, John carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, John nursed Rodney, cleaning his tounge and feeding him Puddlejumper-brand whale chow.
On the eighth night, Rodney climbed into bed with John. He burrowed under the covers and loudly kissed John's mouth. It made John giggle and he cuddled close to Rodney, stroking his penis and singing languidly to him.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, John hurried home so he could curl up with Rodney. It gave him a broad feeling whenever Rodney kissed his mouth.
Then one night, Rodney looked up at John and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a loud prince."
John screamed brilliantly, he was so surprised. How could a whale talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Rodney said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," John said and kissed Rodney on his penis. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a loud prince! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Prince Rodney," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" John said.
"See?" Rodney said and showed John the scar from the ZPM on his tounge. Then he kissed John and they tumbled under the covers and did a lot of very attractive things, some of them involving an attractive stargate.
"I love you," Rodney said when they were done. John clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Rodney had stashed away.
And if Rodney didn't know about John's visits to the whale sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.
