I dry humped my dog because that's how I roll.

I laughed pretty hard when I got the line from my subject line in a meme.

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I love John Oliver. A lot.

I'm pretty sure I had something interesting and important to say, in fact I remember thinking about it in the car, but now I have no clue what it was. I hate it when that happens

OMG. I have no words.

I have never been so turned on in my life.