bubbles83

Hmmmm... Bet you didn't think I would ever see this did you??? Too bad it's not that hard to find the link from Naima's journal to yours. Wow, If I knew how little you thought of me, I would never have stayed friends with you for as long as I did. I never thought that I was better than you and I never expected you to..how'd you put it "praise the ground I walk on like I'm the Queen of Sheba" It's interesting that you said that one of the reasons I started bugging you so much is because I "think I'm more mature than I really am" That's exactly what I told Margaret about you a trillion times. And as for having to work with me, it shouldn't be too much of a problem, it's not like you ever come to RHA, or ever contribute to complex government anyway. And as for me giving you guilt trips, I'm confused about what guilt trips you're referring to. The only thing I can think of is when I finally got up the courage to talk to you about how shitty you made me feel on a regular basis when you constantly mocked me in public. You know Christina, there were a lot of things I liked about you, you were fun, and at the beginning of our friendship you always had a lot of time for me and you made me feel special. You were kind of like a sister. But then, you became one of those sisters that began to irritate the hell out of me and make me feel bad about myself all the time. I don't know if you knew this, but I was kinda depressed in the fall and winter of this year. I don't blame you for it, it was a combination of a lot of things. But I just wanted you to know that you really started to make me feel bad about myself on a regular basis. It's not healthy to leave a meal or a social gathering feeling dejected because you were the butt of every joke. I know that you mocked me out of fun, and habit, and at the beginning it was no big deal, but it got extremely excessive towards the end of our friendship, and you know that I'm not making this up cuz other people noticed. As for the lines between us, yes I know that you are an RA and I am a resident, and there are lines between us. But you made them trenches. You always made me feel like more of a "resident" than Jeremiah ever did and he's MY RA. You made everything in your life, including friendships related in some way to your job. When we did things as friends like going to the OTR concerts together you would make comments about how you should get programming points for going to things with people who happened to be residents. Or when you would refer to us as your favorite residents, I know it was out of affection, but couldn't we be your favorite people?? Why was that so hard for you? It's funny because throughout our friendship you would tell me things like I was prissy, high-strung, and that I gave you knots in your stomach. I began to accept that as who I really was, and then a funny thing happened, I realized when I was talking to my friend Justin from back home online and I referred to myself as high-strung for some reason. He was like "What?? You're not high-strung, you're like one of the most outgoing, energetic, fun, laid-back people in our group of friends" And I realized, he's right, I really am. I am writing you this for my own benefit to vent, as much as so you truly understand, from my perspective, why our friendship ended. I don't hate you, and I hold no animosity towards you. I'm just happier, and more me, when I'm apart from you. With who I hang out with now, I can just be me, funny, laid-back, and completely myself. I used to think you understood me more than anyone in Eugene besides Jeremiah, but then I realized that you only understood the parts you wanted to.